Every Little Helps

A lot of political hatred is directed towards Tesco, for often wrong reasons - for all the social cohesion supposedly fostered by 'local shops', food is cheaper in Tesco than in a corner shop, and shopping in Tesco takes considerably less time than seeking out the most ethical carrots in a 20 mile radius. But, surely something must be done about their adverts.

In case you live in a cave and/or have no television, most of them go like this: blank screen, food item appears, a national treasure's voice is heard. Firstly, this isn't enough - they are the most successful retailers in Britain, and, had you or I their cash, we'd go hog wild and film Will Young being thrown into a barrel of ferrets while a 100-strong vegetable orchestra played 'Light My Fire'. Secondly, and most importantly, there is something blankly terrifying about the tone of their adverts. The texts and delivery are exceptionally patronising, explaining to you, in the laboured tones of the 'Good Cop', the reasons why you should shop in Tesco. This, combined with the half-arsed nature of the ads, leaves us with the impression that their message, though it reads 'Every Little Helps', is, in fact, 'There is Nowhere Else'.